Guess Who’s Back Bitches

1 06 2010

Backstreet.

Hah.

No.

I’m back. If you wanna be my friend you have to endure a little self pitying withdrawal fest once in a while. That’s just how I roll. You’ll get used to it.

Anywhoz,

I was driving along the other day, when I notice in front of me a van with the following lettered across the back window:

‘ChildProofers of Wisconsin- Simple Solutions for a Safe Home’

What. The fuck.

It really takes a professional to tell you to put the knives away and move the lighters and bong to a higher shelf?

For starters, when I was a kid I sure as hell don’t remember ever seeing a baby gate or outlet cover in my house.

When little caveman babies got too close and fell into the fire, did they start fencing them off with little prehistoric baby gates? No. That baby didn’t grow up and contribute to the gene pool.

And our species is better off for it.

If you must insist on reversing natural selection, at least use common fucking sense instead of paying some douchebag who calls themself a “professional babyproofer.”

For fuck’s sake!

Oh, and expect me to get back to stalking all your asses too.

See you soon! ❤

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3 responses

1 06 2010
Stacy

YAY!!!!!!!!!!! So glad you’re back! I need your sassy little sarcastic ass in my life again! And I laughed at the caveman babies – so true! Baby proofers are the reason Heidi Montag is still alive. Therefore, they can only equal evil. And stupidity.

1 06 2010
Ash (Crazy Brunette)

Of fuuuuck… I was supposed to move that shit????

What the fuck? I need a list bitch… Ooooooh , did you get their number????

I’m soooo glad you’re back hooker!

1 06 2010
Annabelle

LOLL at Stacy’s comment. And valid point.

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