I don’t care what you put in your face.

6 08 2012

If you just met me, I’ll let you in on a little spoiler: I don’t give a shit what you do or don’t eat. I don’t give a shit about most of your personal habits, in fact, but we’ll get into that later.

I don’t eat much meat. The way most of it is processed makes me want to puke and honestly, I just don’t like it that much. I’m more of a carb fan. Do you care? Good. Didn’t think so.

No one wants to hear about how you eat only organic soybeans and drink only naturally carbonated spring water infused with probiotics. I do not feel inferior to you because of what you shove into your pie bean hole. I have a pretty good grasp of nutrition. Sometimes I adhere to it, and sometimes I don’t give a flying fuck. Some douchebag’s opinion on why it’s wrong to kill dandelions for my PMS tea because it’s the only remaining component of unicorns’ natural diet is not going to change my habits, ever.

You’ll be sorry. Bitch.

Nourish yourself with nothing but cute baby animals and african orphans if you want, just please stop acting like it’s some kind of new hobby that I’m dying to be educated about. I’m not. If I’m interested, I’ll google it.

And then clear my search history before anyone finds out.


Throat Punch Thursday (on Friday)

3 08 2012

I know I made a big deal (okay, a one paragraph post) out of closing down this blog and making a new one to reflect the place I’m in in my life and all that shit, but I’ve changed my mind. I may have gone through some serious trauma recently, and I may be living in the Twilight Zone, but I’m still the same immature, sarcastic bitch running around in a cloak of black humor. So, Le Meh lives on!

Throat Punch Thursday has always been my favorite recurring blog event, so even though it’s Friday, I’m going to pretend it isn’t and get my bitchy writing muscles warmed up that way.

I’m not a sports fan. And what I mean by that is I hate sports with the burning fire of 1,000 suns. I just don’t get it. Never have. Never will.

So, I definitely don’t understand why everyone but me is so excited to give up a perfectly good network channel for two weeks- or whatever. I’m not even interested enough to google it-  to watch some obscure sporting events that they don’t give a shit about at any other point in their lives.

I get the whole world togetherness thing, but…wait, how is fierce competition supposed to support that again?

Olympics, you are overrated and, frankly, you suck.

Throat Punch!

I do love that Phelps is a pothead though.