Guess Who’s Back Bitches

1 06 2010




I’m back. If you wanna be my friend you have to endure a little self pitying withdrawal fest once in a while. That’s just how I roll. You’ll get used to it.


I was driving along the other day, when I notice in front of me a van with the following lettered across the back window:

‘ChildProofers of Wisconsin- Simple Solutions for a Safe Home’

What. The fuck.

It really takes a professional to tell you to put the knives away and move the lighters and bong to a higher shelf?

For starters, when I was a kid I sure as hell don’t remember ever seeing a baby gate or outlet cover in my house.

When little caveman babies got too close and fell into the fire, did they start fencing them off with little prehistoric baby gates? No. That baby didn’t grow up and contribute to the gene pool.

And our species is better off for it.

If you must insist on reversing natural selection, at least use common fucking sense instead of paying some douchebag who calls themself a “professional babyproofer.”

For fuck’s sake!

Oh, and expect me to get back to stalking all your asses too.

See you soon! ❤


You’re a Wha…?

22 04 2010

I’m a member of an online community of 20something Bloggers (even though I don’t have the badge up because WordPress sucks and I haven’t made my own html graphic yet like I did for my Facebook fan box, which was a waste of time for my whopping two fans. Update: 3 fans! Woohoo Kristen Brumm!)


Recently there was a topic posted in the forums about 20something virgins. Personally I was shocked at how many spoke up to say that they too, were strangers to the s-e-x at ages like 20, 24 or 26.

Now, I have no problem with people choosing not to have sex. I haven’t known what it was like to be a virgin since the tender age of 14, so it’s pretty difficult for me to imagine it at the age of 20 or 24. But, theoretically, it’s not something I’m going to oppose.

What does irk me is the preoccupation that so many virgins seem to have with their own sexual status. They feel the need to inform people of their choice and then watch for a negative reaction so that they can report back to the others that they were outcast and victimized.

Bottom line, if you choose to remain a virgin until you’re married, or until you’re 40, or whatever it is that you’re waiting for, and you feel the need to make it your prime goal in life to talk about it, don’t complain when some people react badly. You are the one defining yourself by your sexual preferences, the recipient of your revelation is only following suit. And that, in my opinion is the opposite of social progress.

Whether or not you have sex does not make you who you are. Which gender you prefer sexually does not make you who you are. Your nose hook fetish does not make you who you are (favorite search engine term of the week. Sorry to disappoint you, random Googler). If you let these things define you, then you are no better than the person judging you for them.

In the year 2010, I would think people could let go of things like the virgin label. Who cares?

Sex is a mere physical act between two animals. Basing your worth (and others) as a person on something so petty is beyond my understanding. As are many things lately.

Influence: it’s like a virus

12 04 2010

I am continuously amazed by the power each of our influences has over those around us. Human emotions, outlooks, and overall states of being flow from one person to another like an infectious disease.

Many try so hard to shape those around them by controlling them. Control is not the same as influence. Controlling someone (or attempting to) is a conscious effort, requires a large amount of energy being put forth, and will likely set off a defensive resistance.

Influence takes place without effort, usually even without consciousness. You influence those near you just by being the person you are. Those who are very close to each other tend to drift together in their very being and each end up somewhere within the average of the original two.  Influence is constant, undeniable, and unavoidable.

Even in the short-term, influence is at work. Have you ever spent time with a close friend on a day when you were particularly high in spirits and he/she was especially low? By the end of the time period, you will notice that you feel somewhat deflated, but your friend seems less so. Your influence has pulled them up, while theirs has pulled you down, until you both end up closer to the middle.

Spend time with the same friend on a day when you’re both feeling down in the dumps, and you’ll likely both feel even lower by the time you part, though the comfort of support and commiseration can sometimes seem to balance the negative influence.

Paying attention to potential influence can have a marked impact on your life and the person you are. Surround yourself with people who possess the qualities you admire, those you wish you had, and you’ll find yourself possessing more of them.

Recognize that from time to time, you will come into contact with a person who is truly toxic to you. A person whose influence consistently pulls you down and detracts from your being. Removing these people from your life can be as freeing as ridding yourself of something as negative as a drug addiction.

Try as we might to be individuals, we simply can’t avoid being affected by the people we let into our lives. Some will influence us for a short while, then fade into the background, and some will leave their mark on us forever, regardless of how much their position in our lives change.

Like Herpes.

Isn’t psychology fascinating?

If You Have to Ask

7 04 2010

Hey baby, what’s your sign?

Your life path number?

Your MB personality type?

What is it about people that makes us want to be categorized?

I have been fascinated by astrology since childhood, and have been awed by the accuracy of mine and some of my friends and family member’s natal charts.

I have been to psychics. I’ve had palm and tarot readings.

Maybe numbers hold the key? Or face-reading.

Chinese astrology?

When I was pre-teen I was briefly obsessed with handwriting analysis.

What does it mean that I am an INTP Capricorn Rat with a Life path Number 3 and floating irises?

I have always been one to chafe at labels, yet I continue to seek out ways to slap them on myself.

Perhaps it is easier to calculate a number, or match up a birth date, than it is to do the hard work of self discovery.

Maybe one of these occult sciences is the one we should all be listening to, while the others are nonsense.

Maybe they all have something to contribute.

It seems as much as we fight being put into boxes, we secretly want just that.

Please, someone tell me who I am. Give me an excuse for my shortcomings, and give me hope that I have innate positive traits.

Explain away why I can’t get along with that whiny Pisces or that arrogant Life Path 1.

Get out your label maker, life, and stick some on me.

Because I can’t figure this shit out on my own.