I don’t care what you put in your face.

6 08 2012

If you just met me, I’ll let you in on a little spoiler: I don’t give a shit what you do or don’t eat. I don’t give a shit about most of your personal habits, in fact, but we’ll get into that later.

I don’t eat much meat. The way most of it is processed makes me want to puke and honestly, I just don’t like it that much. I’m more of a carb fan. Do you care? Good. Didn’t think so.

No one wants to hear about how you eat only organic soybeans and drink only naturally carbonated spring water infused with probiotics. I do not feel inferior to you because of what you shove into your pie bean hole. I have a pretty good grasp of nutrition. Sometimes I adhere to it, and sometimes I don’t give a flying fuck. Some douchebag’s opinion on why it’s wrong to kill dandelions for my PMS tea because it’s the only remaining component of unicorns’ natural diet is not going to change my habits, ever.

You’ll be sorry. Bitch.

Nourish yourself with nothing but cute baby animals and african orphans if you want, just please stop acting like it’s some kind of new hobby that I’m dying to be educated about. I’m not. If I’m interested, I’ll google it.

And then clear my search history before anyone finds out.


[Guest Post!] WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO HOOK UP WITH A TOURIST (And that tourist is me)

13 04 2010

Hello, I’m Ella Unread and I write FROM THE STUPIDEST CORNER OF MY MIND.
I am taking part on 20sb‘s 7th Blog Swap and I get to invade Amber’s blog *cackles* though she gets to do the same to mine *shrieks*.

I am pretty honest and people tend to hate it. You can call me cocky, you can call me a bitch. Who knows…I just feel what my mind tells me to.


Sample tourist: me
Location: Albany, NY.
Time: Around April 2009.

Have you ever been to the usual bar and saw an unknown face and just couldn’t not invite her a drink? It happens to everybody…or so I heard.

* giggles*

What happened?
I was dancing and singing at the tune of “What’s my age again?” when a college student approached me and invited me a drink.

His ears might have been sharp because at my “No, thank you” reply he immediately caught my accent, which allowed him to continue: “Oh, did I hear an accent? Where are you from?”

“Argentina”, I said. Every word I muttered led him to a new question, I swear not only my tone was horrendous but also the looks my friends and I exchanged. I was behaving as a weirdo who just wanted to be left alone. No more, no less. This guy was persistent though, because he kept trying to chat with me, regardless of my bad mood. I was getting annoyed (and I am one faithful girl so when guys get close to me and I am in a relationship I simply run away, as if talking to someone made me less of a good girlfriend) and I decided to let my brutal honesty come out.

“I am sorry, whatever your name is, but I really don’t want a drink and I think I made it clear I am not up for a conversation either” , said the bitch inside me.

“It’s OK, I appreciate your honesty” – he said. “And for the record, when an American guy invites you a drink, it means he is interested in you”

“Ok, I know…but when a girl rejects it, it means she is not interested. Sorry” – I said.

He laughed in such a warm, friendly way at my last utterance. He gave me a huge smile and said “Well, I can only tell you something, if all girls were like you, I wouldn’t be broke. Good night and have fun!” …and so he left, with a flashing smile and some money left in his wallet.

Thanks for stopping by, Ella! Read my guest post on Ella’s blog today here!